Well hey there blog, it's been about a month since I last posted anything here, and I just typed up an update on what's going on in my life, the blessings and the stresses and I accidentally deleted it. So, I'll just make it a quickie to decompress a little bit before I dive into some chemistry for the rest of the night...
Here are some highlights since I last posted: Christmas and New Years Eve happened, which were good times with family and friends. I've been through more training for work and am headed back for some more next week. I won an iPad through my school! and classes have begun again. I've been offered an extension on my lease at my awesome apartment, and I've gotten over that sinus sickness that just didn't want to go away!
I'm halfway through the second week of the spring semester, and honestly, I'm pretty overwhelmed at the sheer amount of information I'm expected to retain in the next 16 weeks. Both in school and at work, which are two very separate, scary, awesome, daunting and fantastic opportunities in my life that I'm trying to juggle efficiently. heh.
Being a full time student on top of working 40 hours at the Credit Union is no joke. There is just not enough time in the day! and night classes after work are not the easiest format for me, but I do really like my teachers and I was thankfully able to work my school schedule so I only have to make the drive to campus once a week. The crazy part is how much I have to do myself online-yipes :/
But as I said, it is only 16 weeks of my life! I'll have a lot behind me by the time summer arrives; not only will I be about 3/4 of the way through my time at JUCO, the divorce will have been finalized, I'll be back to my maiden name and that chapter of my life will finally close.
I wish I could say I'm over him...but the fact is, I'm not totally sure what that means. As I said in my last post, I'm not angry anymore, and I'm not so sad I can't get out of bed, but it does still hurt, remembering him does still come in waves, and while I don't want him or that life back, I do still miss it sometimes. I still miss his company and I can't convince my sub conscience to stop dreaming about those days or dreaming alternate realities of us still together now :( no thanks.
However, I am a much more confident woman as a result, and I've "found myself" in a lot of ways over the last 5 months. While I do kind of crave human interaction and being in a relationship, I know being alone is the right thing for me right now and the best thing is that my identity is not tied to anyone else, and I think that's a great thing for me and for future relationships, I know it will be healthier.
As Oscar Wilde said "I think it's very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person." I couldn't agree more.
Anyhoo, I think I'm gonna have to carve an extra 12 hours out of my week to get everything done and done well this semester, and I fear those hours may have to be taken from my sleep so I'll wrap this up and get back to it.
Peace!
-Hannah
P.S. I've been really enjoying "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers, and there are so many nuggets of wisdom I could post here, however, I don't have my copy handy at the moment-so you should check it out here!
